YEAH!! 2nd sis and Kurt have returned from their 2-weeks Tuscany and Belgium trip and they have bought my favourite pastry/biscuit..whatever you call it. 3 boxes somemore! i felt so touched..cos she actually rmb what i like..and the fact is that pastry/biscuit is not commonly found in NTUC supermarkets, and its not very cheap..so I seldom buy it. Haha.

**********
Tuesday is my driving test. OMG! I think i'm likely to fail. Not that I have no confidence..but the thot of each and every single component in the circuit...I really cant see why I'm gonna get out of it alive.

The slope-that killer #1. Its so steep!!! the feeling is scary when you are just at that white line. I recall having a nightmare abt having to drive up an almost vertical slope. All thanks to the phobia that that stupid slope left on me.

The parallel parking-killer #2. Maybe it was due to my inability to do sit-n-reach..its not easy to turn ur body and look at the rear window and have ur hands controlling the steering wheel, have ur half-trembling left leg controlling the clutch and have ur right leg alternating b/w the brake and accelerator. And i hate to see the stupid poles behind sway and eventually fall onto the ground. Thou that didn't happen, its a fair game of luck. May good luck stay with me on the day of the test.

Kerbs-killer #3. The S-bend, the crank course, the 3-point turn, the parking..mount it and u are dead. The question is: where in the circuit do u not find kerbs?

Double white line-killer #4. Having died there the last time, there should be no reason for me to get bitten twice. But still it depends on the situation. There are double white lines on the road just outside CDC too.

With the 4 killers (and maybe more) lurking around, tell me, whats the probability of not meeting them all?

Whoever dares to tell me driving is easy..i might just strangle the person, cos I'm sure every single driver (newbie/experienced) would have gone thru the learning stage, the test stage, and the greenhorn stage. And it is impossible, i dare to say, IMPOSSIBLE for them not to feel stressed at all, at every single point in time, with the presence of these 3 tough stages. I'm sure GG1 would agree with me.

**********
Just a while ago, i met KS to pass him his notes and we chatted for an hour. The main point was, i didn't bring keys, so poor mum couldn't go and bathe cos she was afraid that I would come back anytime. So she actually waited for me for an hour! She could have showered and went to bed. I felt soOO guilty. and i think KS was tired too..but i was waiting for him to say that he need to go back since his mum called to ask where he was already. BUT HE DIDN'T! and he continued to carry on the conversation! haiz..it wasn't just my fault only leh..i hope he didn't get a scolding from his parents and if he did, i hope he didn't push the blame to me. BUT well, the mouth is his, he's entitled to say whatever he wants. But i'm very sure this would not happen very frequently. SORRY MUM!

how often do you find a fren who thinks and laugh in sync wif you and cant stand the same kinda people as you?

this morn i finally met up wif SH for bfast. nth fantastic abt a McDs Big Bfast..but it was the time spent that was meaningful. Everytime we meet, almost w/o fail, we meet at the same place, eat the same food, talk abt the same old stuff..and we laugh at those old stuff over and over again. why..its been so many years and when u recall ur old sec sch jokes..they are as funny as ever.

we went to cotton on - our must-go shop in the mall..and we stood in the middle of nowhere @ tamp1..chatting, gossiping, waiting to bump into pple we might know, laughing at people who log on to msn and leaves a personal msg/nick like "in a bad mood..dun talk to me"..and looking out for funny people such as people wif ADIDA or ADIDAAS shirts or a man in a green 'Ralph Lauren' tee walking back and forth right in front of us for 4 times.

its just so..like us..like what we used to do many many yrs ago. Haha. I look fwd to the next Bfast meeting..probably when Xmas nears :)

i love my 空虚 life! :)

staying at home is boring. but going out is tiring, esp when the weather is so sweltering. it rhymes huh! LOL. 空虚 was the exact term i used to describe my life to my mum when i was lazing arnd wif gou gou this aftn. haha. but isn't this just the ideal kinda life?

when sch/camp starts..i'm gonna miss the kinda life..when u wake up in the aftn, knowing that u have nth to do..no deadlines, no tutorials, no lect notes to revise, no quiz..just nth. u wake up to eat, to laze arnd doing nth, and to slp afterall (u cant slp if u havent woke up). u wake up basically for nth! Haha. and that was the exact stuff that i have been doing since my return, including some occasional driving lessons and meeting ups. but more or less, its lidat.

one fren asked if i'm gonna just rot the whole holiday..i'm proud to reply..why not?! how many long holidays have i got to rot? next may-jul i'd be doing IO..and the one after the next, i might be joining the hectic life of working already..i wanna treasure the rotting kinda life i lead now, cos i've been yearning for it and i bet i'll be pinning for it soon. hahahahah :D

anger..grr!!!

of cos i was! Today I met the pettiest guy on Earth and it seems like i had underestimated the power of a guy's pettiness. deep down inside when last nite, he insisted that i join him for today's lunch and dinner, i had foreseen there would be some probs wif the outing. i could tell from the way he spoke, the way he behaved..he was probably a rich spoiled brat. perhaps a mild case. but i was surprised..it was more than just being mild.

i'm not a rich man's daughter and it would probably make my day if i pick up 2 bucks on the floor.
whats wrong with a small room for 4 when it was meant for 4? i didn feel my comfort being compromised.
whats wrong with bringing your own water if it saves u the trouble and money of buying drinks? i'm sure many of my frens would love it.
whats wrong with 3 gals being close frens and asking another guy to go out tgther? i mean if u are the guy, u shd have known how close ur frens are. but if u dun, at the very least, u shd be gracious and gentlemen enuf to ignore those nitty gritty stuff right?
but there's sth wrong when a guy doesn't behave or act or pretend to be gracious and gentlemanly and to walk out on people just lidat!!!

i hate it when guys do things that contradict their age...just got rid of one, and there comes another one. perhaps its gotta do with his upbringing. and i cant fathom why the best people did not have the best characters. had they no money for the best education and upbringing huh? i've never been fed with the best rice using the best spoons..so i dun ask for the best. but i expect pple to have the very least bit of graciousness, and for goodness sake-self awareness. to be aware of your own self. i think there's more than just a lil' bit of resemblance b/w him and Albert. LOL.

pettiness is reserved for the ladies. the men dun get it. got it?

SOMEONE told me that Alicia Goh has 名正言顺 became Mrs Lim and is even pregnant with Junior Albert or Alicia. I was so shocked. And to think the duo were on such close terms with 4E2. Sucks! Albert is our form teacher and yet he treats some other class so much better than his form class. I mean of cos I dun gv a damn whether he invites us to his wedding or not..but why the bias? Just becos we didnt give him Teachers' Day present on time? Or just because we didnt do as well as 4E2 did? But i thot none of the best students came from that class?

JUST 1 WORD: 贱.

I'm so inspired to blog abt this after reading my fren's blog entry some time ago.

I totally agree with her. To guys whom we have no feeling, no nth towards..why waste our time? Sometimes not taking any extra steps would be a big step towards each other's friendship. I was suddenly reminded of Mr VJ. I was silly enough to agree to go out with him that one and only time..and that one and only killed any chance that he might have as a friend or anything beyond..because he was SO BOOORING! I cant stand boring guys. I don't wish to be reminded of what happened that day, but I'm sure we would have stayed as much better friends if he hadn't insisted of my meeting with him.

What's love actually? I might understand whats love between mother and daughter, sisters...but what abt the boy-gal kinda love? Must we keep thinking of the other party whole day long? Must we worry for that person? Must we always show care and concern for that person? I dunno..but if the answer is yes to the above 3 questions..then probably the person has taken the place of my family member. Well it does make some kinda sense..maybe if i'm lucky enuf, my bf will be my husband and a part of my family eventually. But why shd we think so far? Isnt it too far-fetched to regard a bf who is an outsider as your family member? Shdnt there be the thin line of boundary? I'm confused actually.

How can a relationship sustain for so long? I see couples who have been tgther for years..have they been thinking of each other for years too? Isn't that crazy? I have a friend who once told me..its a matter of getting used to each other. But one can never get the same first feelings that they had for each other right? As the months passed..if they have gotten used to each other..then where's the kinda "special feeling" that exists between couples that pple have always been talking abt? Double confusion.

But I've come to a conclusion. I am not suitable to get into a relationship as of now. Cos i cant fathom the true meaning of love. I think its silly for me to think of anyone else other than my family members for life. And I think its ridiculous to stay with that one person the whole day long..I need freedom. I don't see the need for me to account to an outsider for everything I do or for any outing I have with anyone. I think its quite redundant.

I don't care about love actually, if I have always been enjoying my life without having that kinda love. I mean so what if you're tgther with someone..SO WHAT???

Still, all these apply ONLY TO ME and its not meant to offend anyone at all.

I'm BACK!!!! Ok i admit..there's effectively nth much to be excited abt..cos I've been back almost for a week. ANYWAY, i hereby welcome myself to be back home. And I'm definitely glad i haven't got swined. it was so dangerous!!!

I have been slacking literally, but mentally shag. In a way, i have been torturing myself wif all the late nite dvds, but that's probably the only time in the entire day that I would be free. I'm constantly tired..tired at the wrong time..not falling asleep at the right time and falling asleep at the wrong time. Haha.

majority of the 24/05 gals met up today! its such a relief that we are still us..it seems like we haven't changed much. Karen is still as lame and pinky, Lynn still as chatty, Geraldine still as close to me and still looks as blur, Von still as cool and stylish, Lela still as cute...at the very instance, i felt as if I've returned to the days in the tj canteen, having lunch with the bunch of gals and crapping. LOL. I really hope that our friendship will be this everlasting and we'll always remain like before..i wonder what it will be like 10 years ltr..

Went to the Canon IXUS shooting course prior to Karen's treat. Ha! I felt the course was..erm..they should have called it a course for the noobs. LOL. Why..there were aunties who lagged behind, who haven't taken their just-bought cameras out of their boxes, hence with no memory card and uncharged batteries..aunties who almost didn't know how to turn on their cameras and to delete their photos..oh well, if they had known everything, why would they be here right..BUT if they had known nothing, how did they manage to purchase such good cameras? A paradox isn't it. Everything was memorable and I've enjoyed taking the course with my sister..cos half the time, we were entertaining ourselves with all the jokes that we have created out of nth. The whole course was just so hilarious! Haha.

Greetings from Berlin!

I wanted to put sth up when I was in estonia and Latvia, but I was too tired to do anything beyond simple facebooking and checking of email. Traveling is fun, but its equally tiring. Especially with the heavy luggage..And so, I've decided that the last sentence that I would ever like to hear is "since you like traveling so much....."

i'm so very irritated with that big suitcase of mine..it weighed 7kg even w/o putting anything in. Tts so unfairly heavy. And I hate ryanair. I really regret booking that stupid airlines, because there were so many restrictions involved. And after all the taxes and additional charges, the airfare didnt seem as budget as it should be. I'm counting down to the day of the last Ryanair flight.

To think I still have 25kg of luggage with me (including the 7kg weight of the suitcase) after sending back home 9.4kg of stuff in Finland and 9.66kg in Tallinn. I wonder why there seemed to be more stuff now than that I came with. Hmm...
The 2 metropol(e) hotels were fine, and the apartment that I'm staying in now, is great too. I hope there are more good accommodations to come.

I didnt know Latvia and Estonia were part of Russia last time, and I'm so fascinated by the Russian Dolls that were sold in the souvenir shops. I was really so tempted to buy them, but I thot we already have 2 sets at home. They were more expensive than those sold in Russia anyway.

I have many many photos, but I'm so lazy to upload them to facebook. and I'm too tired as well. Its gonna be a long day tmr, so.....zzzz.....

i feel as if i'm standing at a cross-road junction, with the Merlion on the left and Statue of Liberty on the right. I know they can't be compared..but the analogy is significant and apt.

its always easy to make decisions for others..but not for yourself.

time time time..if a day consists of only 6hours..how fast time would pass wouldn't it? i hope not to get a favourable reply from them..so that the decision would be made FOR me.

argh..i still cant get over the fact that one can have a wishlist of 20 over items for her bday. so what if its your 21st bday? that doesnt mean u really expect to receive 21 bday prezzies right! i really wonder..if you've got so many things that u want, why dun u buy them urself? its rude to ask pple for gifts, isnt it? and its even ruder to be selfish..to ask a skinnier person to wake up at 5am to jog long dist wif you just becos u wanna lose weight..i think my fren would kill me if i were to do that. in the 1st place, i wont be waking up at 5am. i think that is probably the time i just went to bed.

now i understood why pple refrained from using the umbrella even thou its raining. my umbrella almost flew away this aftn! my goodness..the wind was so strong!!! i was holding on to it real tight and i could feel that my dear umbrella was on the verge of either flying away or breaking. but i was holding on to papers on my hand and i didnt wanna put them in my bag cos its such a big stack (of rough paper. haha)..if not i;d have done without my brolly. argh.

just now i created a facebook quiz of 8 qns. ys got 100%, qifen got 75% and grace got a pathetic 37%. LOL. and if u think 37% is bad, wait til you score 25%. and thatw as exactly wat i did in grace's quiz. hahaha. i had my revenge. i realised that there are so many hundreds of things that I could have asked..but somehow i had difficulty coming up with the mere 8 qns. hahaha.

andrea tried to bake apple pie w/o a mixer for the 2nd time. and this time round, she broke the big wooden mixing spoon. LOL. such violence. she said she'd be cooking on 13th may night..and asked if i'd be joining. i'd like to..but i have a stupid nightmare paper the next morning..but i still promised to join anyway. argh..that nightmare..the horribly horrible nightmare..i hate all those E fields B fields..whatever field..even the school soccer/rugby fields sucked!! so muddy and dirty !@#$%^&!!! hahaha.

last night, i was so very bored from mugging, i started to plan what i'd be doing in the years to come. haha. how interesting. i wanna be an air stewardess by the age of 26, and be the front desk officer of any big hotel at the age of 31 (if they still want me, and i'm not too old for that) and after that, i wanna be a teacher for the rest of my life. i guess experiencing 4 kinds of jobs is enuf..what more can i be? an engineer? err..most probably not. i'd rather be a waitress than an engineer. working with people is always better than working with WORK. if SIA doesn't want me, then i'll join tiger airways or any budget airline that wants me. If Ritz Carlton doesnt hire me, Holiday Inn is still better than nth (BUT NOT HOTEL81). haha.
if only things can go according to plan, then i'd be quite contented.

that email that i received. it was a moment of joy and a period of ponder. there are so many issues to consider, but yet its such a good opportunity. but am i not tired of living away from my loved ones? hmm...anyway nothing's confirmed. i dun even have the least bit of details as to whats going on. so just have to be patient...

i have just finished the last of Heart of Greed-Moonlight Resonance. Tonight i shall embark on the journey in search for the long lost Return of the Pearl Princess. Somehow the title sounds a bit weird to me. Correct me if I've made a mistake.

That day when i was on the bus, i saw this mother with her 2 sons.somehow it got me thinking what it would be like if I have a much much younger sister. I would probably bring her out very often, to Ks, to the malls, to eat and ｔｏ　fetch her back and forth from school. I wonder if she'd want to tag along with me to my gathering with frens..i'm sure my frens wont mind if i bring my sister along. Ｔhey would welcome her, i guess. Last time I didnt really tag along when my sisters went out. They didn't offer to bring me out very often when i was in Primary School..i think my fingers and toes are enough for me to count with. I only rmb going out with my mum most of the time. WHY　ＳＩＡ！！！　Ｉ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｃａｎ　ｒｍｂ　ｏｎｃｅ　ｉｎ　Ｐ５　ｗｈｅｎ　ｍｙ　１ｓｔ　ｓｉｓ　ａｎｄ　ｂｒｏ－ｉｎ－ｌａｗ　ｃａｍｅ　ｔｏ　ｆｅｔｃｈ　ｍｙ　ａｆｔｅｒ　ｓｃｈｏｏｌ　ｂｅｃｕａｓｅ　ｍｕｍ　ｗａｓ　ｂｕｓｙ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｉｎｇ　ｄｉｎｎｅｒ．　Ｏｒ　ｍａｙｂｅ　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｗｏｒｋ　ｓｏ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｄｉｄｎｔ　ｆｅｔｃｈ　ｍｅ？　Ｉ　ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｒｍｂ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｔｔ　ｓｏｕｎｄｓ　ｌｏｇｉｃａｌ．　ＬＯＬ．

Ｔｈｅ　ｓｋｙ　ｉｎ　Ｆｉｎｌａｎｄ　ｉｓ　ＳＯ　ａｍａｚｉｎｇｌｙ　ｆｕｎｎｙ！　Ｌａｓｔ　ｎｉｇｈｔ　ｉ　ｓｌｅｐｔ　ａｔ　３．３０ａｍ，　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｋｙ　ｗａｓ　ａｓ　ｂｒｉｇｈｔ　ａｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉｎ　Ｓｉｎｇａｐｏｒｅ，　ａｔ　６．３０ａｍ．　ＬＯＬ．　Ｉｔ　ｓｅｅｍｅｄ　ａｓ　ｉｆ　ｉ　ｓｌｅｅｐ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄａｗｎ　ｉｓ　ｂｒｅａｋｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｉ　ｗａｋｅ　ｕｐ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄａｗｎ　ｈａｓ　ｂｒｏｋｅｎ．　Ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｄｉｄｎｔ　ｏｃｃｕｒ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｋｙ　ｈａｓ　ｄａｒｋｅｎｅｄ　ａｔ　ａｌｌ　ｌａｓｔ　ｎｉｇｈｔ．　Ｍａｙｂｅ　Ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｔｏｏ　ｅｎｇｒｏｓｓｅｄ　ｓｕｒｆｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｎｅｔ．．ｂｕｔ　ｓｕｂｃｏｎｓｃｉｏｕｓｌｙ，　ｉ　ｋｅｐｔ　ｈａｖｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｉｍｐｒｅｓｓｉｏｎ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｕｎ　ｈａｓｎｔ　ｓｅｔ　ｙｅｔ　ｔｈｅｎ．　Ａｎｙｗａｙ，　Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｔｏ　ｐｕｌｌ　ｄｏｗｎ　ｍｙ　ｈａｌｆ－ｆａｕｌｔｙ　ｂｌｉｎｄｓ　ｉｎ　ｏｒｄｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｆａｌｌ　ａｓｌｅｅｐ．

Ｉ　ｈａｖｅｎｔ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｓｌｅｅｐｉｎｇ　ｗｅｌｌ　ｌａｔｅｌｙ，　ｅｖｅｎ　ｔｈｏｕ　ｉ　ｋｎｅｗ　Ｉ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｂｅ　ｃｏｓ　ｉ＇ｍ　ｔｉｒｅｄ．　Ｍａｙｂｅ　ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ｐａｒｔｌｙ　ｍｙ　ｏｗｎ　ｆａｕｌｔ．．ｆｏｒ　ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｄｅｅｐ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔｓ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｉ　ｇｏ　ｔｏ　ｂｅｄ．　Ｏｒ　ｍａｙｂｅ　Ｉ　ｓｌｅｐｔ　ｔｏｏ　ｍｕｃｈ．　Ｈａｈａ．　Ｔｏｏ　ｂａｄ．　Ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｉｄｅｒｓ　ｄｉｄｎｔ　ｗｏｒｋ．　Ｗｈａｔ　ｄｉｄｎｔ　ｔｈｅ　４．７％　ａｌｃｏｈｏｌ　ｗｏｒｋ？　ＺＺＺ．　Ｏｈ　ｗｅｌｌ　～

Ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｉｔｓ　ｄｒｉｚｚｌｉｎｇ　ｎｏｗ，　ａｎｄｔｈｅ　ｗｉｎｄ　ｉｓ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇ．．ｂｕｔ　ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｓｅｅ　ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　ｃａｒｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｂｒｏｌｌｙｓ．．ｍａｙｂｅ　ｔｈｅｙ＇ｒｅ　ａｆｒａｉｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｕｍｂｒｅｌｌａｓ　ｃｏｕｌｄｎｔ　ｗｉｔｈｓｔａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇ　ｗｉｎｄ．　Ｈａｈａ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｗｈｏｌｅ　ｓｃｅｎｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｒｅｍｉｎｄｓ　ｍｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｄａｙｓ　ｉｎ　Ｒｏｍｅ．　Ｔｈｏｓｅ　ｇｏｏｄ　ｏ＇ｒａｉｎｙ　ｄａｙｓ．　Ｈａｈａ．　Ｉ　ｗｏｕｌｄ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｏ　ｇｏ　ｏｕｔ　ｆｏｒ　ａ　ｗａｌｋ　ｎｏｗ．．ｉｎ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｗｉｎｄｙ　ｗｅａｔｈｅｒ．．ｂｕｔ　ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｗａｎｎａ　ｇｅｔ　ｗｅｔ．　Ａｎｄ　ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｗａｎｎａ　ｓｐｏｉｌ　ｍｙ　ｐｒｅｃｉｏｕｓ　Ｒｏｍｅ－ｂｏｕｇｈｔ　ｂｒｏｌｌｙ，　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｗａｎｎａ　ｄｉｒｔｙ　ｍｙ　ｎｅｗ　ｓｈｏｅｓ，　ｃｏｓ　Ｉ　ｄｕｎ　ｗａｎｎａ　ｗｅａｒ　ｍｙ　ｂｏｏｔｓ　ｃｏｓ　ｎｏｂｏｄｙ　ｗｅａｒｓ　ｂｏｏｔｓ　ｎｏｗ．．Ｂｕｔ　ｇｕｅｓｓ　Ｉ　ｗｏｕｌｄ　ｎｏｔ　ｇｏ　ｏｕｔ，　ｓｉｎｃｅ　ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｓｏ　ｍａｎｙ　＂ｄｕｎ　ｗａｎｎａｓ＂　ａｎｄ　ｉ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｉｔｓ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔｏ　ｓｔｕｄｙ．　Ｉ　ｗｏｋｅ　ｕｐ　ａｔ　１．３０ｐｍ　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｗａｓｔｅｄ　３ｈｏｕｒｓ　ｄｏｉｎｇ　ｐｒａｃｔｉｃａｌｌｙ　ｎｔｈ．　Ｈａｈａ．

Today's Analog Exam = Waterloo.

the sky in finland is ever so beautiful..the clouds, the colour, the sky. if only i can share the same sight with my family and frens.i think i should have taken more than 20 over fotos of the sky, thru the lil small window in my room.

i wonder who invented the word "if". somehow i think this word has made our life filled with more creativity and imagination. IF i have a million dollars..IF i can get 100 marks for all my exams..IF i can travel to the Arctic..."if only" was then used, to make us feel as if we are not tt much of a fantasizer, taking into account how small, we as individuals are. if ONLY i have a million dollars..if ONLY i can get 100 marks for all my exams..if ONLY i can travel to the Arctic...

14 more days in Finland. and i have yet to find out for myself how much it costs to cut hair over here. one day i shall check out the price at the salon downstairs. and i have yet to experience the whole 550 route. one day i shall not alight at Leppavaara and see what Itakeskus is like. maybe that very same day, i'll take a tram around Helsinki and take the rail home..

i'll miss the nice Spring weather, the beautiful sky and the freedom and independence i've had here.

disclaimer: this is not an emo post.

3rd day of hibernation! think I'm going to go crazy le. tmr i might just go out for a breather. for an ice-cream. i was wondering why Andrea said she wanted to go Alepa to get some ice-cream. I'm not an ice-cream person, but i think when u get hot-headed reading some ambiguous lecture notes, guessing if its you or the lect notes that's wrong, you really need so ICE to cool yourself down. lol.

almost everybody has ended their exams. except me. :(

i was reminded of driving again. the thot of it really sends shivers down my spine. i really hate the feeling of stress when i'm in the circuit. its bad enuf to give me consecutive nightmares.

i accidentally chanced upon KXXXXXL's blog. i saw her photos with that hateful OXXN. argh..i feel so disgusted by both of them. the gal is a horrible flirt! the way she dresses, the poses that she had..worst: she's been tgther wif her BF for 2years already. and yet she can still behave so scandalously! and the same goes for that guy.. to behave so flirtatiously with a gal who has a bf for 2 years. I shall ignore him the next time he shows up on my msn window. i dun wanna chat with a flirt. and i dun wanna to be flirted by a flirt cos I"M NO FLIRT! argh..

change, changes, changed. how do we cope with changes? (who moved my cheese?) do we reject them, or do we welcome and embrace them wif joy and anticipation? i choose the latter. :)

omg. i'm just reminded that i forgot to reply a sms that was sent to me 5h ago. how forgetful. somehow, i'm reminded of the phrase by our beloved, dramatic Mrs Wong: "HOW CONVENIENT". LOL!!! "WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?!!"-granted. hahahaha...

i rmb i wanted to blog sth last nite..but i was lazy. now i seemed to have forgotten abt the content i wanted to post. :(

the last couple of days here in Finland. 17 more days, 4 more grocery trip, 4 more papers, 1 more laundry..and I'll say goodbye to Finland for good. its amazing how time flies..it seems like a while ago when i was still cursing that stupid Nmandi for screwing up the Lapland trip. and it too was a while ago when we were submitting our application for INSTEP. and now, we were almost almost abt to leave the place.

last nite, i dreamt abt me back in Singapore and setting of for my 3-wks Europe trip on 19 May from home. LOL. what a dream.

how did i spend my wappu? meaningful i would say. slping for half a day, trying to study for a bit of the remaining and playing comp for majority of the remaining half day. ys and flc joined in the crowd in Helsinki. heard that it was crowded. haha. finally there's some civilization in this quiet lil' city.

on the other side of the globe, gy went hall exp wif the hall pple. not sure if it was due to the infrequent travelling, he was worried abt some stupid packing stuff. tsk tsk tsk. it gets on my nerves when i see guys being indecisive and un-manly.

i bought apple cider for the 2nd time. they checked my ID. all of a sudden i wondered if the legal age to buy alcohol is 18 or 21. wat if its 21? will i be jailed for buying alcohol cos i'm underaged?

exams are coming. almost all the time, i can say that exams are coming. this thurs. OMG OMG OMG. i dun wanna fail sia..but to me, its really hard. esp field and analog. and tts 2 outta 4 papers. i hope i had passed the 1st HRM paper..cos i really dun think i can manage to memorise anything much wif field paper on the same day. i seriously hate those stuff!!! u cant understand how much i hate and dislike them. i wonder if i even have the foundation there..or am i not much better off than fabian low?

there are things i ought to know, but i don't know.
those are the things i hate to know.
so i pick up my notes and force myself to know.
but i still find myself struggling to know.
the feeling of reluctance, exasperation, frustration..
how would you know?

wat an early post today. to begin my day, wif a post. lol, to signify this special day - the earliest i've ever woken up since i came to finland. i woke up at 4,30am. OMG!!! yah, apparently to attend a stupid event where i almost made myself look like a fool..in the hope of getting an almost non-existent white cap. zz.

Yesterday silverfish received 2 boxes of alcohol from her father. 2 BIG BOXES!!! she told me she only requested for 2 beers and 2 spirits to show her boyfren..HER BOYFREN..(the cheaterbug)..but she got 2 boxes, 19 bottles in all! haha..its either alcohol is really that inexpensive in her hometown or she is really damn well-off. but i thot that was rather much exaggerated. haha.

speaking of silverfish, i was so fuming mad wif her that day..apparently she didnt know 2 things: 1, how to ask permission and 2, the purpose of shampoo. she used my shampoo w/o permission. how i know? well, i've got DOG of a NOSE, so i smelled it. and the smell or i shd say the FRAGRANCE was so strong that it filled the entire bathroom and u can even smell it when she walks past u. u can imagine how much of my shampoo she used. maybe as a shower gel as well. LOL. but i shan't keep harping on it, cos i'm magnanimous and benevolent. thou shall forgive and forget.

last nite guoyuan told me that his clean laundry were found on the floor, cos some inconsiderate soul wanted to use THAT particular machine that he used..despite the many other empty machines..it seemed like he was just mere irritated, thou he had been treated the same way times and again. somehow if i were him, i wouldnt be that nice. he told me he stopped that fella's machine to seek revenge. if i were him, i might very possibly dump that fella's clothes into the big bin next to the machine. so that the fella would make a fool of himself by collecting his laundry from the dustbin instead of the washing machines.

next thurs is exam! analog somemore..wat a difficult way of starting the series of exams. i just hope that i pass those tough ones. if not life would be tougher when i go back to NTU.

today is such a slack day! lots of things to do, but nth really urgent, that's why i'm taking things rather too easily.

yesterday wilson finally talked to me online. after such a looooong time..which makes me face the fact that, everyone changes, and things change as well. those days were always the happiest.

in the past, we thought everything we do were very grown-up and we sort of enjoy them. k2..ole tampines, lyncia and i wandered around the whole premises on our own; thinking that we were old enuf to be w/o our parents. but when we realised we really couldn't find our parents, we were scared.

p6 i attended the 1st bday party. omg, i felt so "woah" at that time. come to think of it, if i were a bystander, i would actually be looking at just a bunch of naive kids, not even 1.4m tall, playing around like kids should. there's no big deal.

sec2 we were stupid enuf to believe that by waking up at 4am to queue at bedok stadium, we would be able to get the NDP tickets. did we really not know that pple would have queued overnight? why were we so foolish as to get our mothers to wake up early wif us to do some silly things?

yesterdays were always nice to look back at. we laugh at ourselves then. tomorrow, when we look back at what we did today, would too be a joke. we are growing up le!

we used to laugh at pple's names. lychee, mee hong kong, chua puay kee, reebok... i mean, we still do. those were dumb but enjoyable stuff.

would we still rmb the jokes we used to crack, the stupid things we used to do..10 yrs down the road? will we still be friends, hanging out tgther, singing k, eating sushi, doing the things we used to do when we were much much younger?

this post is not meant to be an emo post. it just serves as a reminder for myself, and all who come across this post, to treasure everyday.

the weather in Finland sure is weird and sudden..why, i thot a few days ago i was still digging for my gloves in my bag, all of a sudden its 15-18C..who needs gloves when u are in an air-con room? Haha.

this morning was HRM exam. thou i think i crapped my way through the defining concepts, i should be able to pass. somehow i doubt my brain capacity..has it shrunk? i rmb i used to be able to memorise more things more vividly. but somehow it has deteriorated. am i stupider? or was i just like before? i was scared last night when nth seemed to go into the highly folded and complex organ in the shell sitting on my neck. oh well, its over. i really hope i can pass, and i seriously think i might study less for the next round. the EE subjects are much harder to tackle.

now i'm tired. my fotos are re-uploading (sth's wrong wif the stupid drivers) and my head is in a stupid throbbing pain. I'm supposed to mop the floor, but i'm sheer lazy.
i might go sauna later. i dismissed the thot of jogging cos apparently, there isn't a proper clear route. i'm not a map person, so when Andrea took out the map and explained the route to me, i was half lost.

i checked out the price of bowling here. couldnt believe my ears - ear drum, ear canals and nerves when the person told me 20 euros per hr. crazy. absolutely! thou I'm not exactly sure how much bowling is in sg, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't require u to take out a 50 sgd note and only get back a 10 sgd change. ha!

i was kinda surprised at the mention of felicia's name this morning. it might have crossed my mind that she's taking the same subject too, but the thot seemed to be a mere passer-by. i'm not an independent person. so why didn't i make good use of the luxury and privilege of having a fellow sgrean fren staying just 1 floor beneath me? we could have done a lot of things tgther..cooking, eating, slacking, hanging out, sauna-ing, going to sch...if the person is ys, or gg1 or BLM or anyone else, it might have been a different case, wouldn't it be?

there's a flea market in the vicinity. cool! its good to see that there's civilisation in the quiet espoo city. the numbers seemed friendly, but after doing the maths, they didn't seem to be as nice moments ago. i couldn't resist the urge to bye the eggplant sold in Lid'l. its so cute and nice, and perfect. i didn't really know how to cook it, luckily, my mum enlightened me. LOL.

i cant help reflect the housework and menial tasks i have done since i came here, and i think i should compliment myself. never would i have thot that there's such a day when i have to do everything by myself. its not a lot, but its just so not-of-me. haha. but when I'm back in sg, I'm me again. haha. i look forward to that day.

Back from Easter holiday last week.

Next Sat is HRM exam.

Sucks. I feel like I'm a book worm, having to read and study and MEMORIZE the whole textbook. No doubt memorizing does make studying less..um..stressful, but which kid in town likes to study? If only i could play whole day long, sleep day and night...

Last night I had an almost-nightmare. I dreamt of me driving up an almost vertical slope. Naturally i had no faith in making my way up, and i was right when the car flipped and crashed towards the direction of gravity. I knew I should have gotten my sis to drive the car, but then she was at the backseat. It was impossible for her to control anything at that point in time. Instantaneously, all in the car (my parents and my 2nd sis) lost consciousness and i couldn't, at all, make them come around.

Miraculously, I was back at home the next instant and my mum was happily cooking in the kitchen. she even told me that my dad and 2nd sis were fine and still alive..and the unconscious persons in the car were just the physical bodies. I was a bit lost, but somehow I believed what she said since she was a living example. LOL

Boohoo..changes after changes. All is finally confirmed as we have paid the money. *OUCH!* Its gonna burn a hole in the pocket temporarily..but i hope everything would be worth the burn.

Haha. Planning 1 trip to 1 place is ok. But planning a trip to many different places is not easy, especially when we have to accommodate to the plane schedule and the money issue. Nevertheless, a compromise has been made and here are the most updated details:

18may Helsinki-Tallinn
20may Tallinn-Riga
22may Riga-Berlin
24May Berlin-Hamburg
26may Hamburg-Pisa
28may Pisa-Seville
30may Seville-Dublin
01jun Dublin-Glasgow
04jun Edinburgh-Zurich
09jun Geneva-Frankfurt
11jun Frankfurt-Singapore


We have sort of decided to ship our big luggage back to sg first so as to avoid the inconvenience of carrying it with us, or to save the costs of checking in or to leave it at FRA. Thanks to guoyuan for his idea. Thou the thought of 185 euros to do the shipping sounds quite *woah*, but the other alternatives were even "woah-er*. LOL

Frankly speaking, I'm not sure what kinda long holiday awaits us. It sounds luxurious, but its really abt roughing it out. How much luxury can 2 gals afford? But at least, we are off from a ~ 20kg load. And one thing's for sure, I'll not crave for any plane rides in the near future.

Friday is our Easter vacation to Oslo and Stockholm. Not sure if its gonna be a fun-filled trip as the itinerary seems rather European. Oh well, its the company and the experience that matters. No heavy luggage! No more bedbugs! OFF! I hope that the stupid bedbug bites wont leave a permanent scar on my hands. I have had enuf souvenirs.

I look forward to the day of return 65 days later.

Happy 200th post! I wonder whats there to be happie abt.

Anyway, the plan has finally been laid. At least almost confirmed, minus the booking.

20/05 Helsinki-Tallinn
23/05 Tallinn-Riga
26/05 Riga-Glasgow
30/05 Edinburgh/Glasgow-Dublin
02/06 Dublin-Prague
05/06 Prague-Zurich
08/06 Zurich-Dusseldorf
11/06 Frankfurt-SINGAPORE!!!

All these for less than 200Euros (400SGD)..this excludes the final flight and the accommodation thou.
Hopefully exams will end on 14May, which makes me just ~1mth away from the day of freedom!

This afternoon, Andrea asked if I look forward to the day I leave Finland. Naturally my answer was "yes". Why...isn't that the expected answer? Haha.

Just finished watching "Hotel for Dogs". A typical kinda movie I would have watched in the cinema back in sg. It brought back many wonderful memories. The question now is, so have I made up my mind?

its the last few days of march and its still snowing..will spring ever come? the shops selling impractical clothes now, because its not possible for customers to wear those summer clothes that they are selling, NOW!

so many things to do

lab prelim and actual ex
electrical eng. project
applied field ex
analog ex
modeling test on Thurs
hundreds of strategy, finance and leadership terms to memorise

so many things on my mind

worrying abt failing the courses here
worrying abt the driving lessons schedule
worrying abt letting go or not
worrying abt whether qifen is still going to stay in hall
worrying abt why i'm having panda eyes when i've slept for 12hours

if i am a magician, i will conjure some magic tricks that will bring me back to Singapore, with all the credits in my transcripts, with all the worries solved and gone forever and ever and ever and ever.....

today is a day when everything doesnt seem to happen logically.

1200 i touched the hot oven and burnt my hand
1300 i played hasee bounce in the hope of getting 1000..but i got 944 and 962 instead
1900 a silverfish appeared on the floor in my room
1955 my roommate and her imagined-bf were in the house
2000 the 2 of them were missing
my other roomie asked if i wanted to eat their leftover mashed potato
blood oozed out of my cooked chicken drumstick
2100 the 2 of them reappeared. sitting in the kitchen in the dark.

How true about me is this personality test?
(http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx)

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Today i received the parcel that 1st sis sent. I was happy and moved. The parcel contained 2 cute Zara t-shirts and a pair of earrings. I think it cost her at least S$60 in all. Its not just the money she spent on me...its really the thought that counts. I'm so fortunate.

Just when i thot its gonna to stop snowing, it snowed again. -.-"
i also dun undstd why i dislike the snow so much. Its not sth that I get to see everyday in Singapore. Its also not the main reason why i fell. BUT i just dun like it LOR. haha.

i realise that our singlish is really sth that we undstd. a few times, i accidentally blurted out "lah" and "lor" in front of my foreign roomies. they weren't stunned at the use of the words, but it just seemed that the dynamics of the sentence and the intended meaning wasnt conveyed across. but we didnt care anyway.

i had a weird dream last night. it was split into 3 main parts. 1st i dreamt of sze jie. Of so many pple, i dreamt of him. maybe becos Mr Pang and I were discussing the senr camp top and we mentioned him. but that was the day before. Haha. anyway i dreamt of this weird notebook (those you write on) that was almost like a pdf. i rmb logging in to neopets using his notebook. so funny. i dreamt that i was in a cottage with him, and one of the beds in the bathroom had exactly the same bedsheet and blanket that i'm using right now. LOL. why would there be a bed in a bathroom. Haha.

the 2nd part was kangting's wedding. i dunno who she was getting married to, but it was supposed to be her wedding at MarinaMandarin hotel. Somehow Gilian was there too. Haha. Anyway, we met at the basement of rafflescity and we wanted to get into a lift so that we can get to the MRT station. but somehow some of our ex-classmates like XQK and Doreen are stopping us from getting into the lift and stopping the lift door from closing. it seems as if they are stopping me and zj from attending the wedding. Mr and Mrs Wong were there too. we were late and there was no way we could stop the gang from stopping the lift. we finally gave up and decided to take a cab. but no matter how hard i tried to call for one, there was still no cab. in the end, a white cab stopped and picked us, after he has let a group of Pakistan pple got down. Weird thing is it was me, and my parents who boarded the cab. it was no longer my classmates.

ying ying was angry wif me cos i let her wait for me in the fitting room. i told her i would fetch a gown for her. but the gown was not there when i went to get it. and it was too far and too late for me to go back and let ying ying know. i even told kangting abt it and she used a loudhailer to shout for ying ying's name. but apparently she didnt hear, so she was mad at me.

the 3rd part i dreamt of going back to hall and home since there's a one week break. i saw my room (hall) has turned into qifen's chem lab and she was doing her expts there. the rest of the stuff i cant rmb le.

haha.

Tapiola

Today i went to Tapiola. a normal place, with shops, supermarkets, banks, H&M, etc. Somehow the place gave me a very unique kinda feeling. I dun really know how to describe it. the place...its like some European kinda street, wif someone playing the accordion, wif pple sitting in the cafe, wif the elderly at the banks and doing their groceries shopping...its somewhat like peaceful ville where life is carefree and happie.

Indeed Tapiola is a nice place, with the last yellow piggy keychain to add to my collection and the long-time-no-see Namimunnki. Its really nice. Reminds me of Lapland. And for the dunno-how-many-time-th, being mistaken for a Japanese. In what ways do I look like one huh???! Haha.

I'm staying at a fantastic place. 6th floor is probably the highest in my area, tts why I can see the clear blue sky whenever i look out of my window. maybe its near the airport, i see lots of planes. cool! i saw 2 planes one in front of the other, somewhat a 200m from each other. Pardon my parallax error. but how big can a window be? if u can see 2 planes at one time from a small window, they shd be quite close to each other. maybe i shd time the no. of planes i see from my window in 1 minute...I bet i can easily see 10 or more.

and the sky here is reallie beautiful. esp its sunset now. so u see the different colours forming. wow~.

i hope i get to go Paris in March to look for 2nd sis. haha.

How truthful can pple be? You think you are part of them, but do they really see you as part of them? You feel happy because they are with you, but do they feel happy because you are with them?

They just belong to a different school. That doesn't mean that they are bad, and we are good. Maybe they are really nice, just that, yah, they go to a different school. I also dunno.

Maybe I'm just stereotyping. Maybe I'm holding the binoculars in the opposite way. But its worth thinking about that. Hmm...

I'm going crazy. I hate marketing. All along I thot I'm much better at such stuff than EE stuff, but it seems like I'm wrong. Stupid Aker Yards/STX. How on Earth would I know how to do the assignment? Why, I dun even have the reqd book! Sucks. I should wake up from my dream. There's a reason why Business didnt appear in my list of uni choices.

Just now I played Chicago with my roomies. Not exactly the best game, but at least it took my mind off the work I had to do. And I hated that cos I literally did nth productive today. I hate myself. At this point in time, I'm still dating Aker Yards. Argh!

Weird dreams

I have been having such weird dreams these days.

Last night, I dreamt of food. Actually the dreams didn't make sense and it seems vague and messy to me now. All I knew was a dream about some cheap food being sold at this street. Every time I visit the street, it seems that there is one kind of food that is particularly cheaper than the street opposite. And in my dream, I visited the same street abt >5 times and the same exact sale happened during every visit.

Just now, I took a very long nap. Some 3.5hours. I dreamt of some tribes. But it turned out that the tribes were my family members and my ex-colleagues. I can't really rmb the details now. But I do rmb some issues with my parents, some strikes along the streets of Singapore and I was there with my hp camera as Priscilla was holding on to my camera, and some parts where I was looking for a toilet and I finally found it some streets away at a deserted MRT station.
Come to think of it, the dream seems rather queer.

Falling is painful! The stupid ice on the ground made me fall for the 2nd time in Espoo. I seriously hate the ice and snow. I can't wait for the weather to be much better.

Like I said, falling is painful. At that moment, I felt as if i was going to faint. My eyes blurred, my wrist and butt hurt.

"Its not abt falling, its abt getting up from the fall."
Fine then. I was really surprised that no help was attempted to be rendered by the so many pple near me. Nobody bothered to come and ask if you are ok. Both times. And I belv it would be the same case were to happen if there are going to be subsequent times. Maybe it was too common for them to see pple falling. Finland is cold, no doubt abt that. Are the that pple cold too?

"If you have to fall, you have to know how to fall."
Apparently i didnt know. I didnt even know what went wrong, and the next moment I landed hard on the seemingly innocent-looking snowy ground. Somehow my wrist hit the ground hard and it got injured somehow. Maybe it was a sprain, a fracture or just a strain. I dunno. All I know is that-it hurts.

Every morning, I wake up, hoping that the snow would melt away. For good. When will that day come?

Haha. I'm back from my Lapland Trip. Actually quite some time ago le. But anyway, the trip was cui cos the organiser was very cui. I can't believe the worst happened - we missed the last train home. We shd have gotten back by 1am the latest, but we ended up back 6h later. ZZZ. Luckily there was the express bus, we didn't have to sit at the train station and wait for the whole while.

Anyway, it wasn't as cold as expected. There was starry sky (uncountable stars), but no northern lights. Skiing was shiok without falling. I fell like 4 or 5 times? I can't rmb. Almost dislocated my right arm, but it miraculously found its joint and went back to its original location. Phew! I can't believe as a first-timer, I actually took the ski-lift all the way up the hill. I didnt dare to come down! Hee...my savior was a snow-mobile. The cottage where we stayed in was well-equipped and cosy! It even had its own sauna. And 6 of us built a BIG snowman right outside our cottage. Haha.

Now that I'm back, it means back to school work. Lab is hard. 3003 is harder. DIP is hardest. Dun undstd what on Earth the materials are writing abt. GG! I better not fail anything...if not I'd have to go thru everything all over again in NTU. The only nice module is 3010. Haha.

Next trip: Easter Vacation to Sweden and Norway wif YS and 2 other NUS guys from China whom I've met during the Lapland trip. :)

Its cold here. I'm referring to not just the weather, but the festive mood too. For the 1st time I'm spending CNY at such a far place from home. Oh well, maybe its just not the right time to go for SEP. But since I'm here, then that's too bad.

CNY celebration at Helsinki...CUI. Some performances and fireworks. But still, better than nth. I spent CNY Day 1 and Day 2 in my room, with my lecture notes and my laptop.

Do I feel sad? Actually no. I just took it as any normal day. But of cos, it would have been much better if I'm at home. At least I'd have better food.

I feel like I'm a part-time housewife. All the while, its either eating out or mummy's cooking. I never had to worry abt my own meals. Not that I'm worrying now, but its just that you will feel sian having to cook your own dinner. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Eating out is so ex. This is Europe. Also, my stock in the fridge is running low. Its time to be Maria tmr and stock up my compartment in the fridge. I'm left with nth nutritious except eggs and cheese.

Lapland trip on Thurs. Somehow I reallie dun feel like going. The thought of -25 to -15 degrees Celsius really sends shiver down my body. They say northern lights is beautiful and everyone's is so excited. But I'm not. I mean yah, I want to see the northern lights. But i rather stay in somewhere warm. -25 degree Celsius. Its worse than a freezer. Somemore we have to make our own trip to Tampere. Where on Earth is that sia? The train tickets there are so ex! and we have already paid like 200plus euros for the whole trip of which you spend majority of the time traveling. I feel so cheated.

Zz. Enough of complaints. Have to cook my dinner now. tata.

Highlights of the day

The 3 of us stepped into a sauna. OMG! It was so hot, and we could barely breathe thru our noses. We stayed there for some 20min which seemed like an hour, and we just couldnt take it. Felicia said sauna is good for the body...and according to the internet (http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0353.html) , it seems to be true:

• "your metabolism and pulse rates increase, your blood vessels become much more flexible, and your extremities benefit from increased circulation"
• "brings about the same metabolic results as physical exercise"
• "relieves the symptoms of minor illnesses such as colds, revives the muscles after tough physical exertion, and clears the complexion"
• "senses will be sharpened, and your tactile sensitivity heightened"

Oh yeah. So good, i shd just visit it more often since its free and just steps away from my apartment.

We cooked dinner after that.

I used the washing machines and dryers. I almost gave up meddling with the dryer. I couldnt find the start button, neither could I understand the markings on the machine. LOL. And I almost thot one of the machines ate up my right glove. Haha...

Sports sports sports...

Whats so fantastic about sports?
Whats so nice about being in the sun, getting yourself tanned like someone of another race?
I dun undstd.

I do what I like. Just as long as it keeps me fit and healthy and keeps my heart pumping at a normal rate.
I do sports for myself, not for the sake of others.
You don't need to join softball, captain's ball, netball, basketball, football, hockey or play with anything round just to qualify as a sports-player.
All the more you don't need to show the whole world of the 101 photos of you playing sports.
Can't you just swim and jog and play badminton when you feel like it?

I just dun undstd. Hmm....

Happie New Year!

The 1st post on the 1st day of the new year. New year resolutions? Erm...i think i'm too old for that. Things like: I will work hard this year. I will be good this year. I will keep my room neat and tidy this year....blah blah blah. Its either i've been doing it all the time or the otherwise. Nth fantastic.

I'm flying off soon! Its this Wed. I can't believe its that soon. I'm almost packed...such heavy luggage and all I have is a pair of hands...i'm not afraid of anything...except for the cock-ups that might have here and there. But i do feel quite sian at the thought of doing everything myself. EVERYTHING! I've been through hall, and I'm certified 50% independent. But now...its 100% independence. But i'm sure I can pull through. No big deal right?

I've just installed Skype. I'm looking forward to the pc-to-pc calls that I can make. I hope the Bu Liu Mings or at least GG#01 will install...its damn sian half a year not hearing them. I hope 2nd sis will be at home with her laptop on when mine is on...so that I can hear their voices.

Its weird. I'm not excited. I'm a bit sad...5 months to be exact...its not considered long, but still its not like 5 days. No home to go back to every weekend. No bed. No gou gou. Haha.

I hope there's nth wrong with the modules matching over there. I hope to match as many subjects as possible leh...

Tmr...the Bu Liu Mings are gonna go Sakura for dinner. Whee... must work out a strategy to eat the money back. Haha...

Single sigh. Double sigh sigh.. Triple sigh sigh sigh. Haiz. I think this the word that comes from me most often these few days. Sian!!! Who stole my good exam vibes sia...Mistakes after mistakes. Stupid and careless ones somemore. What have I been doing sia?!

I swear I really studied. Even idiots know that thats a fact. Buy WHY...thats the issue. Possible reasons:

1. Not enough sleep ( I had at least 7hours!)
2. Hunger ( I was a bit hungry, but I had breakfast)
3. Didnt study enough (Maybe lor.)
4. Stupidity (Maybe?)
5. Stubborness (A bit.)
6. No smart geeks in my exam vicinty for me to copy (I'm quite sure)
7. Tough paper (It sure was, but some mistakes were evitable)
8. Too distracted (Possible, but I did study)
9. Just couldn't think (Bingo!)
10. Carelessness (YES!)

There are actually more to add on to the list...but i lazy to think.
Come on, one more to go. If its still as lousy, then i'm really GG. I need an average of 4.2..come to me! I can forget about 4.5. It seems like 4.5 doesnt really like me. Sian.

I did study. I did put in the effort. I don't want to be classified in the same category as FLJW. Cos i'm different from him. And some other pple. I hope!

They say I have the character of an Air Faerie. LOL.

"The Air Faerie wants certain beauty products to make her more radiant. In return she will make your pet more swift."

Hahaha....

I slept so well last nite, that i think it couldnt be better.

Stumbled upon some photos on facebook. Not mine of cos. Noticed how some people's appearances have really changed so drastically while i still remained more or less the same. Wonder why some pple dare to do things that I don't and how they manage to get those things started in the 1st place. Opportunity and character. I won't deem the same stuff as an opportunity based on my character. I think its just sheer waste of time. Well....u cant change a person's character, so you can forget about the stuff that comes with it.

Read the same person's blog too. Sometimes I wonder if my blog is really that deserted. Maybe I brought it upon myself. I could have just informed the whole world of the existance of this La-La Land...but whats the point? You don't used to go round handing your diary to your friends and pple whom you hardly know right? Aiyo...dunno lah...its pple's character and what comes with it, isn't it?

1 week no go home le. :(

Today was my 1st paper. I rmb this was the day I had my physics A-levels too. It wasnt my 1st paper in NTU, but still I dun undstd what took me so long to fall asleep. And when i finally did, I had a bad bad dream...one of my worst nightmares ever.

I dreamt of a female ghost, long black hair covering the hair, white flowy dress, and everything else typical of a Zhen-zi look-alike. Anyway, I dreamt of her in my Hall toilet, saying this to me (I forgot if it was english or mandarin): you have come to look for me AGAIN. She was sort of strangling me or pulling me as she said that. I was struggling. I tried to shout, but no voice came out. Luckily I could still move my legs. I was kicking and struggling so violently that I finally woke up, exhausted from the ghost-human tug-o-war. I could even feel the force that had been exerted by her on me when I woke up. Everything was SO REAL! I was very scared.

The next peculiar thing that happened. My hp alarms didnt ring. I know this might be so common to others, but this is really queer in my case, but pple chose not to believe how strange it was. I was so afraid I couldnt wake up on time, thats why I set 2 alarms. These 2 alarms were the loyal ones that I have been using every single school day for the past one semester and they have NEVER failed me. This morning, BOTH DIDNT RING!!! I was very very sure, cos Qifen didnt hear them too. And if they had rang and i hadnt hear them, the alarm would have self-snoozed and rang 9 minutes later. I ended waking up at 8am instead of 7.15am/7.20am tt I have set. If my alarms did ring, I must be deaf not to hear them after like 10 times of ringing? Anyway, the timing still showed alarm set at 7.15am this morning. I found it particularly eerie esp after that ghostly nightmare I had prior to that.

So I switched off my hp during exam, and found myself not able to turn it on after exam. I had to take out the battery and the memory stick twice before it finally worked. Is my hp going to cmi soon? I hope not. Come on, Sony Ericsson, prove that you are value-for-money.

I'm so traumatised mentally. Seriously, I feel so tired now, but I'm now sleep-phobic. I'm so afraid that the same thing would happen tonight. I'm so afraid of being haunted. Goodness gracious!

Oh yeah man, 3 more days to exams. and I'm too being itchy-handed.

I have been revising BS104...which reminds me of JC bio...cos its really abt JC Bio and more. I don't understand whats wrong with NTU. Why cant they learn from NUS, SU aft the results are out? Do they really want to see us die of getting lousy grades or see us die of regretting making the wrong choices? It happens every sem and I have a hunch that its going to happen for the 3rd time!

Why didnt I SU the stupid module? It served me right for just taking 1 glimpse of the past year papers. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MORE GLIMPSES. What an idiot I was to make the wrong choice. Have I forgotten how much I hated bio in JC? Have I forgotten what hard time I've got memorising those bio notes? Have I even forgotten how I have never gotten beyond a B (or was it a C) in my entire JC life? So what with an A in the A-levels? It just meant that practice makes perfect. I didnt owe the miracle to the sudden boost in memory I had just before the paper. It was consistency, wasnt it?

So I have been dreaming. How can it be possible to refresh my memory of what I 've learnt in the entire 2 years within 1 semester? And now that the scope has widened such that i need to know the structures of all 20 different amino acids as a foundation, I think I really have been dreaming.

Einstein's theory of relativity. Good job, Albert. Just because i found the EE modules much more mundane and tough...just because i was landed into this course by accident...I found Bio relatively easier. It seems like I did forget all those points as mentioned above. I've really overestimated my passion and interest in the subject, let alone the knowledge and memory capacity I thot I was equipped with. And fear. Are the BS students really gonna do so much better than me? Are they really going to find papers that I find difficult, easy? What and who was I trying to prove wrong? I guess it was just myself.

Whats done cant be undone. Just try my best....what more can I do? When can the school review the SU system? Sigh.

TKK application (INSTEP)

Life is all about the unknown...the fear for the unknown. I cant believe I actually made such a daring and expensive move, but at least i thought that was a little bit helpful in getting one worry off my chest. So they did receive my application. But why identical stuff can yield unidentical results? Maybe its the way things are being carried out.

I have violated the rules. Just like law, rules are meant to be broken. But a criminal wont want to leave traces of evidence behind so that the police can nab him. I'm not a seasoned criminal, so I didn't know that. Or rather I was aware of that BUT I had to do that in order to set my mind at ease. Now its up to the person to hand the evidence over to the relevant authorities. I wonder what the consequences would be. I'm crossing my fingers that they are as patient and nice as they have sounded.

Its nothing serious. There's no need to call the police.

Chain reaction. I finally understand that, cos it happened to me. No big deal actually, just one sleepless night ---> headache and another sleepless night ---> headache and a limited sleep night ---> a tired day. I wonder what kind of night this eventually ends with.

Its gonna be exams soon! One of my last few hopes to pull up my socks and tie my shoe laces (I added in this part). Conf room is opened for studying! I can't wait to really study there...but why do I like that place so much? No place is better than my own room, with everything i need and the toilet just next door. Somehow i miss studying with her. I should be hating her right? Afterall that incident happened during the previous exams season. Argh....can't be bothered to think too much.

I'm falling sick soon! I can predict the future....its just a matter of time. I can feel the germs' ultimatum...wipeout!

I think this is very irritating. So irritating that no matter how much obstacles i face, nothing's gonna deter me from making this entry.

Just about one hour ago, i learnt a new lesson called respect. The subject wasnt me....everything was gathered from the point of view of a third party.

I went down for a jcrc briefing regarding some event. Guy A was a freshie, a new member of jcrc, giving the briefing. It was obvious that he was quite inconfident and nervous, given that this might probably be one of his first few times seeing us...and some of us being his senior somemore. Alright, after much dily-dalying, the briefing finally started. He started to talk about the timings, the stuff to do, etc. And right behind stood the jcrc president, with her arms folded and an impatient and pek-chek look. I think she couldnt take it anymore, so she opened her mouth and that marked the moment of a series of objections.

Guy A: Lets all meet at 9.30pm tmr night.
JCRC Pres: (to Guy A, in front of some 30 pple) Are you sure you want 9.30pm? I think 9.15pm. They need time to.........................blah blah blah.

Guy A: Alright then, 9.15pm. Block comm please meet at 9.30pm, then we start combing the blocks at 9.45pm.
JCRC Pres: Why 9.45 pm then start combing? The residence will.................................blah blah blah.

Guy A: Ok, 9.30pm start combing.
JCRC Pres: Then what abt the manpower? Have you allocated the manpower to.............blah blah blah.

Similar dialogues repeated, till she decided to shut that guy up and give the briefing herself. That guy, was standing in the middle, speechless, embarrassed, lost..... I felt so very much to stand up and say, " Miss President, can you just stop interrupting? Its very rude!" But i didnt dare. I also couldnt imagine what the repurcussions would be. Afterall, she's still the JCRC President.

My points were:
1. Decide everything before you give a public briefing. It reflects very badly on yourself and the guy that you all couldnt come to a consensus when you all are the JCRC!
2. You can bring the guy one side, talk to him all you want to talk abt, check his agenda. Its better than correcting every single thing he said right in front of everyone. RESPECT the others, be it your subordinate, a newbie and whoever.
3. What are you trying to achieve by interrupting a person's speech lidat? To remind all that you are the JCRC President, so you have the final say? Then why dont you give the briefing yourself. Or are you out to disgrace that guy on purpose? To show pple that he's incompetent lousy and you're the opposite?

Learn to respect others. If not, pple will not respect you. From that moment onwards, at least, she has lost my respect.

Missing calculator

Where did my calculators disappear too? I thot I just took them put 2 weeks ago? How could they have disappeared into thin air just like that? I've searched almost the whole house,unless they are hiding in some secluded corners that I've never known existed...which makes me qns why they would be there in the 1st place.

I'm not making a big deal out of a small issue. The real issue is: ITS ABSOLUTELY IRRITATING WHEN U CANT FIND STH! I still recall watching this episode of Doraemon where he conjurred a bottle of fluid which you can spray on all your belongings, such that when you cant find a particular object, all you have to do is to shout for it and it will call out to you. Isnt that cool and beneficial to mankind if such an invention really exists?

But for now, where are my calculators?

I dont like the way things are being handled. Stop thinking that you are that fantastic. Stop keeping me out of the picture and telling me that i'm in it. Give the people around you some respect, cos they've got minds of their own and they've got feelings too. The people here refers to me.

I don't want to make any more sacrifices anymore...at least not before the application results are out. Maybe i should learn to keep things to myself. I shall go ahead and do what i'm going to do. I'm going to wash my hands off the committee that begins with a capital "H" officially, cos i'm just pissed off. I'm going to be an irresponsible person from now on. If thats how they want things to be.

By the way, no more HMF1. I've decided to drop it. Hope i wont regret. By right, i have more reasons not to than to do so.

Till Sept, keep all my fingers and toes crossed. Good luck to me.

Instep or Havoc?

Havoc Camp started. Ended. Lost of beauty sleep. Lost of voice. Tts needless to say. There were things that weren't pleasant to my sight and required changes; matters i felt like voicing, yet i wasnt in the right position to do so. When the opportunity finally came for me to do some revolutions, its just too bad that i'm going to stare at it, leaving me.

I have planned ahead. And that was one of the few instances i reallie did. Cos i hardly do. But why must it be that way? I know there's no win-win solution to all matters. And humans are selfish creatures. But u cant always have your cake and eat it. If only we can.

Sacrifices are bound to be made whenever it comes to decision making. This is the 1st time (is it?) I feel the pinch and the pain. Ouch!

Senior Camp 2-fright night rehearsal

Senior Camp 2-fright night rehearsal just ended. I felt like i have wasted my whole afternoon and evening, doing nth but wait. Long waits after long waits, there were nth for us to do, cos we were not the group in charge of fright night.

The only fun thing that we did was making the cyalume straws with the syringe. It was quite fun, thou it made my hands glow. Haha. And apparently many years of biology didnt teach me to hold the syringe correctly. I thot my way of holding was correct? Hmm...

The walk itself was a bit scary. It wasnt the tasks we had to do, it was the sudden movements that the SMs made, that made me scream. This really goes to show that, apparently i havent been paying much attention during the meetings, cos i did not i know exactly what the tasks were, and what was going to happen next. But i guess its also because of that, i screamed quite a fair bit...and made the fright night rehearsal quite an actual one for me. Haha.

Yong Leong thot i was quite funny...cos i could be laughing, screaming and telling him to be careful at the same time. Hey! How could he make fun of me! I told him to be careful, cos i knew exactly (maybe not so exact) where the dangerous parts were. I laughed when i saw the familiar faces /heard the familiar voices of the SMs. And i screamed when they jumped out or shouted at me all of a sudden. I was genuinely afraid ok! Afterall, old CGH wouldn have been so 'famous' for no reason.

Today was not a very lucky day for Havoc actually. The moment we reached there, we saw a big family. We came to know that they have bought the piece of land where old CGH was standing. OMG! That means we may not be able to use it for actual camp. Their boss came down too.
Then the police came. Then the Ah Bengs came. Then the police came again. Then the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians came again. Finally the SPI came. That was a good series of interruptions. But anyway, we managed to clear the area by 12am. So i guess it was still alright.

Red Tea Jelly with Longan. Hmm...what so special and famous abt it? Nth special leh. Haha.

So thats the way u call welfare...i'm fine with that. I'm not angry. You believe? Of cos not...cos i'm lying through my teeth.

Its just a trip to Msia.
I'm just a Part time staff.

Its ok.

The happiest day and the saddest day.

Went to watch the NDP Preview. The turnout was uncountable. The fireworks were breathtaking. The marching and the formations were spectacular. The airshow was superb. And the performance was boring. Haha. I guess pple shared the same sentiments as many left in the middle of the perfromance.

It didnt occur to me that I was the culprit. All along i thot LZR was responsible for the incident that took place after the 1st group A mtg 1 yr ago...heaven knows i was part of it too. The news came like an asteroid hitting against me. I was crushed. Mentally. I cried very very hard. So hard, for once i felt like breaking down. I was totally drained, worn out, exhausted, whatever you can use to describe the fatigue.

I have never thot that I would be termed an irresponsible person...esp when it was only the 1st mtg...can u imagine the lousy impression i left on others? Forget abt whether i've changed for the better or whatsoever. Whats done couldnt be undone. If i were in MX shoes, i would nv forgive the person(s) that made me cry. Today we are such good frens...good group mates. To think she didnt take it to heart even thou i did hurt her before. One wouldn cry if he/she wasnt hurt. You undstd? If someone were to hurt me, i think i have the perfect reason not to forgive and forget.

Why wasnt i scolded for my behaviour then and there? I would have felt so much better. Or rather i wouldnt have felt so bad. So guilty. I cried not just becuase i made MX cry. I cried cos i was angry and disappointed with myself and childish, stupid, silly and foolish behaviour.

Havent had so much fun since heaven-knows-when. Went Plaza Singapura to do some shopping and to rent Archie comics. It so happened that my mp3 hung on me for no reason and it so happened that there's a Creative store at PS. Voila. Managed to get it fixed on the spot.

My main aim was to shop. So we headed for Far East by foot from PS to shop for shoes and tees. It was a fruitful trip as i managed to buy 2 tees and 1 pair of shoes. Sense of satisfaction-60%. To top up the remaining 40%, we went to Bugis Street to get 2 more tees. Haha. Just nice. 99%. The last 1% was one Unagi Sushi and some soup @ Sakae Sushi.

Wanted to catch a movie at TMall, but we were a bit late. So we went home. I got a cute handphone accessory. Great day!

Today i had my best driving lesson ever! Not cos i didnt stall, its cos i thot everything went rather smoothly.

Its for the 1st time i felt like i'm cruising in a car...wif me at the driver seat and my hands on the steering wheel.
Its also for the 1st time i felt the slight confidence in getting the vehicle moving. Goodness gracious, i even exceeded the speed limit of 60km/h on the road by 20km/h and i even got a chance to go to gear 4!
For the 1st time too, I drove past areas near my workplace, my hse, my sis's place, Daniel's place, my fave coffee shop...basically its a lot of places that i went to this afternoon.

When a guy likes a gal, he might confess to the gal.
When a gal likes a guy, she might never confess to the guy.
So what if this person makes it known to the others that he likes that person...pple have eyes to see, to judge whether this person and that person would make a compatible pair. Correct?
I'm glad there's someone who understands that person and can help that person make the judgement. Make your judgement known to this person. It would make the day of that person.

When one is busy, he always yearns for the time to rest. On the contrary, when one is so free, he wishes to be given some meaningful work to do. I dont like to waste my time doing meaningless things...but for my case, meaningless stuff is meaningful income. Understand?

Tues nite meeting...wed nite dance practice. I have hated dancing since Sec 1 cos i believed my dancing sucks big time. Till now, i still think i can't dance but yet i feel that dancing is fun. I can't believe that i can actually rmb the steps...i shall make it a point to practise consistently, so that i wont be the weakest link during the camp. But its always easier said than done. Haha.

Single...attached...married.

Why does it matter to pple so much? Shouldnt happiness be the most important thing in life? As long as you are happy, why bother about the relationship status?

I'm just wondering.

I have every right to say "This is unfair!!!" and pple have no right to stop me, cos I've just collected concrete proof of what is called unfair. Work hard, work hard, work hard. What's the point? Slack, slack, slack...and pple turn out better than you. Was it an issue of time or was it just a little pinch of luck?

Don't go overboard. Overcooked food doesn't taste nice. The nutrients will be gone, without you realising it.

End of PC show (41 units today, 81 units for past 3 days)

PC Show has ended. My legs are 'sour', my throat is sore and my ear drums have been very much shaken. Thanks to my brain. The 1st and last form of celebration was treating myself to one scoop of Macademia Nut Ice-cream at Haagen Dazs.

Its really tiring. Lessons learnt:
You dont know how tired your legs are, until you sit down.
Just like you dont know how hoarse you voice has turned into, until you really get to stop shouting and talk in a normal pitch and tone.

Attitude. This is the image you portray to others. According to dictionary.com, attitude is
1. manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, esp. of the mind
2. position or posture of the body appropriate to or expressive of an action, emotion

I put in my heart and soul and whatever i have, in all i do. I believe there are pple who do so as well. But i hate it when you see pple giving the heck-care attitude. Stand and smile...chat...eat Pocky...SMS...I know there is no commission. But pls. Show some responsibility, cos afterall, you are paid. If they needed vases, they wouldnt have to pay $8/h/vase. Its far too costly.

Enough of the freebies and the headsets, the carrying-cases and Windows XP. These are the taboo words at least for a week. Enough of the nonsense from those AN and AT. This is not discrimination. But sometimes it just gets on your nerves that pple ask for things that irritates you and put you in a spot. And unfortunately, it really got sth to do with cultures. Nobody can stop me from stereotyping them, cos everybody showed the same pattern, and said the same thing! Heck. I have learnt to say the word "No" today, and i realised, amazingly, it worked!

Today's mode was tuned to 'slack'. But somehow i still managed to sell a considerably reasonable no. of units. Dunno why. Maybe it had sth to do with feng shui. Haha.

Will i be spotted at Dell again during the next PC fair? I doubt so. It takes me a while for the effects of fatigue to disappear and be erased from my memory. For now, all the memories from the SITEX 07 are back. Vividly.

Arh...my long awaited PC show...the tiring and leg-breaking day i've been looking forward to since heaven knows when. Pple question me...why do i like to do this kind of job? Why would i want to stand the whole day, talk the whole day and fake a plastic smile to people you don't feel like entertaining, or sometimes to people whom you are cursing and swearing furiously deep down inside? My ans is...i don't know too.

Today was busy.
To the extent that i didn't really eat lunch and dinner, if you were to ignore the little blueberry cream bun that i had at 6pm.
To the extent that i didnt have time for toilet.
To the extent that i kept one group of customers waiting while i served my other customers.
To the extent that i didn't even keep track of time.
To the extent that i didn't know how i survived today.

Tomorrow is another day of uncertainty. The target is a ridiculous figure of 20 sets. You think tts possible? You think laptops cost $129.90 instead of $1299? Its not easy earning pple's money, especially when you know that the stuff you are selling, is less competitive than the other brands.

Customers came to me with brocures from Acer and Compaq. They made me do the comparisons for them. Even Dell laptops from the retail booths are much more attractive than what we the direct sales are selling. How am i supposed to convince the customers when u realise that after matching all the specs, we are most expensive than the other brands? I don't cheat you see. I am a consumer 99.9% of the time. I understand how it feels when the $$$ figures stare at you. $200 difference is a difference! You can't tell pple, "oh, for that $200, you get to purchase a Dell laptop (and not any other brands) and you get to choose from 8 colours!" Cos i would rather keep my $200 and go for a normal-looking Compaq or NEC laptop, so long as the specs are good. Afterall, most laptops look normal. And same goes for their owners.

But then again, i'm ashamed that this year, we are selling notebooks with such outdated specs. I know they wanted to make the prices look attractive...but i could almost feel myself blushing everytime i mention the additional costs of upgrades to the customers. Because, after all the addition, its no longer seems that good and cheap a deal! And the best thing, once again, is us selling more expensive than our retail booth! I hate this. Why are we, the direct dealers, more expensive than the retail dealers!!! Its so irritating! Its as if we are driving away our customers...as if the non-casn & carry policy isnt doing so enough.

Oh well oh well. Thats sales. And of cos, you meet all kinds of customers. Humourous, not-humourous-but-try-to-act-humourous, cheapskates, wealthy, knowlegable, smart-alecs, friendly, arrogant...and many more. I can't help but reflect on which category i fall into 99.9% of the time.

I know we are paid. But we are workers, not slaves. The least those whoevers can do is to appreciate what we are doing for them. Its not my fault that customers take their time to make a decision. Mind you, its a $1000+++ deal that we are talking abt here. Esp in times of inflation and other rubbish, time for consideration is definitely necessary.

I didnt lose my cool. (When customers were around.)
I didnt lose my smile. (When customers were around.)
No matter how fake i look. (As compared to when customers are not around.)
Afterall sales is service.

End of Special Sem

Yeah. Special sem exam is finally over. Its hard, cos while pple are enjoying their hols, we the special sem-ers are working hard for that one exam. But i guess, its still more worth it, especially there's less things to cope with at a time. The STARS timetable for next sem is out, and i think it looked yucky. If only i'm not taking EEE...at least the module titles would look more interesting and "appetising". Haha. Thats just a thot that crosses my mind once in a while. Or shd i say many times in a while. LOL.

Tmr is the IT Show. The day i've been looking forward to. Its definitely not because i get to stand continuously for 9 hours or i have to explain the same things over and over again...its just because i like the nature of such job. Maybe its too soon to speak...but trust me. If i hadn't liked the kinda stuff, i wouldn't have dug my own grave. Who would do sth that they dun like? But then again, that person happens to be me again.

I hope that the PC show would be a fun one. :)

Interesting Pocky

With these exotic and interesting flavours...don't you feel tempted? And mind you...those Pocky didnt cost more than S$ 1.50. Don't u agree that we are deprived of right to cheap unique and yummy Pocky flavours?

http://search.live.com/images/results.aspx?q=pocky&FORM=BIRE

This is to tempt you even more.

4.07 am...a SMS woke me up. The reply is: I've gotten over it. I'm not sad. I'm just tired.

Sometimes we dont have a choice. And sometimes we are just fated not being able to accomplish certain things. What i am today isnt my choice and i hate to believe that that is MY life. I am a victim of the consequences attached to the choice of no-choice. You understand?

Wednesday is astro exam. After that, thou i foresee i would be even busier, i hope tts freedom.

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05 June 2008 . 1:13am

Results out. Disappointment.

Time after time, i've been questioning myself why is that so. Why am i always the weakest link? I know i'm in no position to say anything cos there are pple out there who have done worse and need more consolation than I do...but the point is everyone has different expectations. I dont see why should i be deprived of the chance to be sad, to lament about my results, to ask pple to console me. Just because i'm not as unfortunate as others?

Since day 1, i have been blaming everything on Earth that could be blamed. Why is life so unfair? Why cant we borned equal? Why cant we be at the very least, be appreciated of ALL our efforts?

I cant to bear to see my results cui-ing day after day. I dont even want to look at my results for the 2nd time. Whats the point?
Resolutions are always easier said than done. Mug at library everyday? Study hard? Bullshit. I might just scold anyone who dares to tell me i havent worked hard enough.

Maybe pple dont see my point. Maybe some pple never will. If only my blog is as unknown as some unknown pple's blogs...so that nobody will understand what i'm talking abt, so that i can truly vent all my frustration.

Its just minutes before the release of exam results. How do i feel? Nervous and all other asscociated terms in the thesaurus tt u can find.

Eve of Senior Camp

Tmr is senior camp. After having chaired part of Havoc's mtg for the last 3 weeks, things seemed to be roughly in shape. But the actual thing is always different from the ideal. Deviation is inevitable...it just depends on how much it will deviate from ideal. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that things won't spin out of control. The seniors are my friends...they won't make things difficult for me, will they? They won't give harsh criticisms and hurting remarks, will they? Very soon these questions will be answered.

I believe i would be able to handle...this is not a form of motivation, although apparently it it. I am ME and I know i am not a weakling. No matter what comes, I'll be able to handle fine. Besides, there's always the Havoc Tops to help me.

For now, I have to familiarise myself with everything. I can't make any blunder that will reflect badly on myself. No room for mistakes.

Today is the Eve of Senior Camp 1.

I was so very tempted to type the whole entry in chinese...but i dont see how i am able to accomplish it. So better not waste time.

My 3rd driving lesson le. I finally got onto the main road, but i really screwed things up by stalling the stupid engine twice. Consecutively somemore. Right smack in the middle of the big cross junction near Bedok Swimming Pool, where traffic was so heavy. Its just sheer luck i'm got many patient drivers behind the steering wheels of the many vehicles behind me.

I'm starting to doubt whether i have made the right choice in taking special sem. Pple around me are all working...while me...Given a timetable of Tues, Wed AFTERNOON lessons...what can i do? There's nth i can do.

I'm sick again. So sian. Everything is tasteless and odourless...i feel so sick. Life is as bland as plain water. Not even honey green tea can perk me up, cos i wont be able to taste it.

Don't feel like eating, cos i don't want to waste the nice food.
Don't feel like studying astro, cos i'm mentally exhausted.
Don't feel like watching tv, cos it makes me tired.
Don't feel like sleeping, cos i can't seem to fall asleep.
Don't feel like doing anything, cos there are too many things to be done.
Don't feel like typing anymore although there are so many things i feel like telling cos i'm too sick to do so.

Talk to me.

I hate hall

Staying in hall is so troublesome.

I really don't understand why the school is making things so difficult for us. We are paying them more than a thousand bucks a year, and there they are making things hard for us-their customers. What the heck. Firstly, they came up with the stupid idea of triple-sharing, without considering the welfare of the the students.You look at the size of the room. Having to house one more person is not just about that person. Its about adding an extra bed, extra table, extra cabinet and extra moving space, without compromising too much of that of the other 2 roomies. How is that possible? You can easily think about all the possible problems and unhappiness that would arise with your kneecap put on.

And then they thought of another stupid idea of the double-decker bed...those kind with a small pathetic table below. Who would want to be the 3rd person if he/she has to pay the same amount of $$$ as the other 2 roomies?

Fine. With or without the silent protest, the obviously-foolish plan was called off. So how? To make the now-happy students who were unhappy about the triple-sharing idea unhappy, they set the cut-off to be 15 points. That would make less than 10% of the hall-ites eligible to continue staying.

Whats the point of joining this and that, making ourselves busy like anything-you-can-think of ??? For that stupid recommendation letter-which requires you to write 450 words to explain everything on Earth, and requires you to go through whatever selection, interview and signing of contract. WHAT THE HECK! Seriously had it not been the fact that I live in Tampines, you think i would even bother to think about all these junk? I might as well just go to school and come back when school ends, like the times in Sec sch and JC. And pri school. What a nice name -discretionary list - where whether you stay in hall is up to the stupid hall's discretion. Its just plain threatening.

"It is compulsory for all successful applicants to attend all the hall activities held through the academic year.
2. Termination from hall will be considered if applicant fails to comply with any of the respective requirements as stated in their individual agreement.
3. All applicants will be monitored by the Hall Fellows, if performance deemed unsatisfactory their application will be revoked. "

This is ridiculous.

What about those people who can't multitask, who cant cope with academic work when they want us to join so many silly stuff? Maybe they would be terminated from school. Does it mean theat when that happens, they can continue to stay in hall? They didnt specify that you have to be an existing student of NTU to stay in hall in their clause, did they?

I am really angry. I don't like to be treated like dirt, or to put it in a nicer way, I like to be given respect. I think even spending $1000+++ for a handbag or for a pair of shoes or even donating it, would make me feel better...cos at least I feel the appreciation by the shop, by the people or at least, i own a new bag/pair of shoes...Right now...i yearn to see the day when there is just 10% of the total hall population staying in hall. But i know that day will never come.

No choice, i still have to fill in the application form and rack my brains for 450 words. When can i just quit hall, and totally exit myself from the stupid hall system?

Gross Sakae Sushi

Finally got to eat sushi wif mum and sis again...woo...so nice, but so ex. Due to INFLATION and the rising price of rice, sushi price up-ed form $1.99 to $2.29. Sian. The cashier was a noob, not knowing how to count, not knowing how to understand the promotions going on. In any case, it was my 1st time eating a gross salmon sushi too. The 1st and the last time. Yucks.

Went to check my eyesight, yeah, the degree dropped (or whatever u call that). But that also meant that no changing of specs this year. Haha.

So happy that the gathering @ Art of Music was postponed, thou i was really informed at the very last min by chance. I wasn't angry, i was happy! Think i really dun like the place, lol. Or maybe i really loved staying at home so much. Zzz, thats denial!

Managed to finally reformat my laptop, after the many hours of backing up. Have yet to bring the files back...so mafan. Sigh, stop procrastinating!

My 154th post...too bad it had to be an emo one. Last nite havoc mtg...my 1st time chairing a mtg. Seriously i wasnt very stressed, just that maybe i wasnt prepared and experienced enough. The tops and the commpointed out a lot of stuff...and i'm just too tired to think abt the stuff. Of cos i'm happy they made me the top of senior camp, but...its just very sian...cos there are so many things to be done and to be considered. Just typing the email to zk alone...i cant even managed to finish typing w/o feeling the urge to give up. Sigh. So much so for senior's camp...why are the seniors lidat? i mean arent they kind pple like the QPeeps and the JCRC pple? why must they be treated like the royals? Its purely cos of their expected behavious that i'm getting this humongous and tremendous stress.

I think i need to sleep soon.

I've finally made my 1st step! I've booked my 1st driving lesson @ Cathay Driving Centre, Bedok...this Thurs 7pm. ..$36/90min... lol...chialat, i think i'm going to be a noob cos i've clean forgotten all the FTT stuff...what clutch what gear...whats those? Haha.

In a dilenma

The email. Performing arts group sounds too nice too be true. Should i join? Is that a once-in-a-lifetime chance? But i don't want to be reminded of the past...of the place...of the events...of the people...and of him in particular...Just when i've decided to delete him out of my mind, my life...this stupid email popped out in my inbox...what should i do? Risk it? I know he'll join. I'm in a dilenma...will it affect my schoolwork? Will it affect my leisure? Will it affect my future?
As i've said, it seems too good to be true...cos there are just too many uncertainties.

09 May

A great game of badminton with Meixin, Marcus and Guoyuan...so great that my right arm aches now. I can't imagine whats going to happen tmr. I thot i would be late...turned out i was late alright, but i managed to be the earliest. Lol...and lotsa thanks to Marcus for the Honey Green Tea. I would like to clarify, i'm NOT the weakest link...it obviously wasnt me and i cant really blame the guys for having great arm power and better skills. Hmph. And it's a blatantly rude thing to get ur fren to takeover when one of us just rests for a while. And its even ruder to have ur fren and ur fren's fren to takeover the court, cos we paid for it and we weren't transparent. My point is: Its only courteous to ask. We needed some rest anyway.

08 May

Recording! Cool! For 2hrs, i was living in the world of Clip! and i was Annabelle again. Its weird to be singing those songs again, but its a nice feeling. I was even amazed at how differently i sound...the voice i hear of myself and my recorded voice. And its even funnier to hear my own singing. Its quite a shy thing. :) One more song to go...the wedding song. I can't wait for the whole cd to be ready. Haha.

Marina Sq wif MS and Wilson

Left: KBox Bill; Right: Me drawn by Mingshu

The craziest thing of the month: I suggested to meet at 10am at City Hall MRT this morning and i was not late! I know that's an almost impossible thing to be...but as i've said, its "almost"... there's still that slim chance. Lol.

Broke the record for lowest bowling score: 35! Somehow i'm just proud of this most-unproud thing. Whats there to hide? Its just me...with the plain facts. You can consider me the 2nd runner-up. The 1st runner-up was Wilson, followed by our new-born Bowling Queen Mingshu. Haha. We were the 1st 3 customers of Marina Sq Super Bowl by the way. Thank us.

It was amazing how i did such an accurate estimation of time, cos it was almost 11am by the time we finished our game and we were just nice for K @ KBox. I know the previous K trip was less than a week away, but K-ing is addictive...I can't help it right?! It was a much fruitful trip as compared to the prev one and...oh yah, come to think of it, I was K-ing the same day last year, just that then was my first time K-ing and it was at Party World Intl Bldg wif Sunway pple. Happy 1-Year Anniversary. Woot! Lunch was good anyway.